11-14-11
“Can you see me sugar?”
>
This has caused much amusement in PT towers these few weeks.
Who do you see? Marilyn Monroe or Albert Einstein?
The further away you are you will see Marilyn and the closer you are you will see Einstein.
Who ever you see, if you think you have an eye issue, you know where you should have gone, don’t you?
11-14-11
10 Writers You Should At Least Attempt To Read.
We all know we should read more books. but where do we start? With the interweb we can just wikipedia something we want to know. We don’t need to actually read anything more than 140 characters. So for those moments when we need to go out and meet people and converse with actual people by medium of speech, instead of poking them on Facebook, it is helpful to have some knowledge of modern life. Books are a wealth of knowledge but there are SO many of them.
How do you separate the wheat from the chaff? We at Procrastinate Tomorrow have done the leg work for you! Here is a list of writers you should at least know about. Some of them have defined whole genres of writing, some have moved people to change their lives. These are the good guys and girls or at the very least, the ones we want you to think are!
1) Shakespeare
Slightly worrying if you have reached adulthood and not read any Shakespeare. The basics are that Shakespeare wrote a lot of plays in the 16th century, including Hamlet, Macbeth and Romeo and Juliet. You must have seen a performance of Romeo and Juliet even if it’s the ‘street’ version in 1996, with Leonardo Di Caprio playing Romeo. Many Actors believe that the epitome of their career is playing a good Hamlet, others smoking one. Macbeth is also a word not to be said backstage in theatres before productions as it is a curse. Similar to saying ‘break a leg’ in stead of ‘good luck’ to a thespian before a show, it is considered unlucky.
2) Ernest Hemmingway.
Handsome chap wasn’t he? Hemingway was a dude. In 1954 one of his novels won the Nobel Prize in literature. Hemingway is said to have strongly influenced 20th century fiction and if you read at least one of his books you will see why. There is no guarantee however that you will so maybe you are best to google him.
3) Anton Checkhov
If only to remind yourself to cheer up every now and then. We still have nightmares about The Cherry Tree.
4) Enid Blyton
Lashing of adventures and Lemonade! On reading an Enid Blyton novel you will know why people say ‘Lashings of lemonade’ with a goofy smile. You will also know who the famous five are and will no longer confuse them with the Jackson 5. When you read it we suggest you pack a picnic of sandwiches, some kind of cake and a beverage to accompany it, perhaps we could be so bold as to suggest lemonade? Lashings of it! Hurrah!
5) Paulo Coelho
This guy writes nice stories. The Alchemist is a book that has sold over 65 millions copies. It is about following your dreams. It’s a book that has changed lives and if it would do you good to change a life, then reading it can only be an opportunity not to be missed. You can also find him on twitter, where he tweets ‘thought provoking’ words and sometimes just what he’s eating. Find him @paulocoelho
6) JK Rowling
If you have gotten through this part of 2000′s without knowing which platform to take at King’s Cross Station to get to Hogwarts then I salute you, you gorgeous Muggle! Much fuss and hype has been made over the bespectacled orphan wizard and her friends. Harriet Potter has been a much loved character and the successful books turned into blockbuster films. If you have spotted that we have referred to the young wizard as being female and you think it’s wrong then we take back our salute, you know fine well who he is – you cheeky salute grabber!
7) Mark Twain
At PT we like Mark Twain, he wrote an awful lot of good stuff and we use his quotes from time to time. If you are going to be a regular vistor here, it woukd be good for you to know who on earth we are talking about. Go forth procrastinator! Try Huckleberry Finn to start, it’s a great story of two boys, Huckleberry Finn and Tom Sawyer growing up in the deep south. On a cold day in particular you can feel the dry, dusty heat of the banks of the Mississippi River.
8) Jostein Gaarder
He wrote Sophie’s World in 1992. It is a huge book, the biggest we’ve ever read. Since then he has written so many gems of books that we had to include him. JG writes stories with philosophy at the core, and a favourite past time of procrastinators is philosophising. Sophie’s World in particular is a mini history of philosophy and will save you the degree fees.
9) Dan Brown
A modern writer we know but Dan Brown wrote a book that caused a lot of outcry within religious circles. You have to read it to be in the know, no matter what your religious views are. We are not religious here, so don’t take offence at us adding him in here. It was also a damn good cliff hanger of a film starring Tom Hanks called The Da Vinci Code.
10) Stephen King
To scare the pants off of yourself if nothing else. Don’t read alone, don’t draw the curtains when you do, and whatever you do, DON’T go and investigate a strange noise! And keep away from clowns!
07-30-10
Kylie Minogue & The World’s Happiest Bear
Sometimes, just sometimes it would be nice to be a bear…
05-06-09
Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy Syndrome
So reflex sympathetic dystrophy syndrome is what caused Paula Abdul to become addicted to painkillers.
Read more…
11-20-07
Nigella talks utter filth!
So, there I was reading a couple of blogs last night sat on the sofa beside mrs wife, who was watching Nigella doing some cooking on the box.
Suddenly out of nowhere came a few choice soundbites, that woman is a suggestive hussy and no mistake. When she wasn’t kneeeeding and squodging – even her made up words are pornotastic – she kept staring out of the telly like she wanted nothing more than…. well, what is a man to do? The brazen slapper totally ignored my missus sat there and just talked filth at me – blimey.
Read more…
11-30-06
Billy Idol
Happy bidet ya hooooor!
It’s nobody’s business but the hoor may as well have been dead next door for all I knew! But no, turns out the aging rocker is alive and well and shouting his rebel yell on myspace! Probably the only place left he can hope to find a sweet sixteen to have a white wedding with. Read more…